Suicide haunts friend's dreams

Dear Zazz: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and my friend "Kevin" recentlycommitted suicide. Now I dream about him every night. In the dream,he's trying to tell me something, but I can't figure out what he'ssaying.

I'm scared by this. I'm also feeling guilty because Kevin onceasked me out and I turned him down. I don't know why I did thatbecause, actually, I really liked him. And since he died, I feellike I'm in love with him.

How do I stop crying and move on?

MISSING HIM

Dear M.H.: First of all, know this: Kevin didn't kill himselfbecause you turned him down for a date. People who are suicidal aredeeply troubled, often suffering from major depression, a mentalillness. Kevin needed medical care, not a date.

Like most people who've lost loved ones and friends to suicide,you yearn to go back to the past and change things. Your dreamsabout Kevin are likely a reaction to that. And your feelings of"love" are also understandable.

Losing him in such an awful and permanent way has heightened youremotional ties to him.

You need to reassure yourself that turning Kevin down for thatdate was the right decision for you at that moment, and maybe it wasthe right decision for him, too. Your friendship survived hisoverture. Maybe it wouldn't have survived had you begun dating - andbroken up.

You can best serve Kevin's memory by making good use of your lifein the years to come. As painful as his death is for you, it willlikely make you a stronger, more understanding person. Let that behis legacy to you.

Dear Zazz: A boy asked you how kids can earn money by startingtheir own summer businesses. One of your suggestions was a car washon the boy's driveway.

That's a bad, bad idea.

Think of all the residue and grease that cars have underneath.All that will collect in the sewers and eventually go into thegroundwater. It'll also leave residue on the driveway and lawn, andmay upset neighbors.

Cars should be washed in a professional car wash that has specialareas for waste and waste water.

DIDN'T LIKE YOUR IDEA

Dear Didn't: OK, there are ecological considerations to an on-the-driveway car wash. Now, some kids reading your letter will surelyturn off their hoses and open up lemonade stands instead.

I wonder if I'll then hear from readers who believe lemonadeshould be sold only in officially sanctioned stores or restaurants.They'll write about the risks of children stirring up too-sourpitchers of the stuff, leaving whole neighborhoods stricken withunsightly, scrunched-up faces.

Being a young entrepreneur isn't as easy as it used to be.

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah: So your kids are away at camp thissummer, or they're visiting grandparents, or they've flown out tospend quality time with your ex-spouse. What are they saying intheir letters and e-mails home? I'd like to print some of thefunniest, most loving, or most touching correspondences.

Send me a copy of your kids' letters, and I'll select the 10 Ilike best. Those kids will receive special back-to-school prizes,including Rugrats memorabilia.

Send your entries to LETTERS HOME, c/o Zazz, Box 3455, Chicago60654. Or fax us (312-321-2812) or e-mail (zazz@suntimes.com).